Marriage: Let's Stay Together
Posted: Tuesday, December 12, 2006
by Kristi Luv Wilson
Driving Destiny
Divorce is so prevalent within our culture today. For example, some people divorce their spouse because they are no longer in love with them, or because they feel that they rushed into marriage, or simply because someone squeezed the toothpaste from the wrong end. While other people divorce their spouse to live in same-sex relationships. Although there are many reasons to end a marriage, what happened to valid reasons for saying, "Let's stay together?" Did today's generation jump off the love train and decide to take the midnight train to Georgia ? Really? What happened to married couples sitting down and talking about staying together?
Sadly enough, in today's culture married couples are finding numerous reasons to dissolve their marital relationship. According to Whitehead:
"The dissolution of marriage offered the chance to make one over from the inside out, to refurbish and express the inner self, and to acquire certain valuable psychological assets and competencies, such as initiative, assertiveness, and a stronger and better self-image."
Isn't it possible for one to express him or her self within a loving marriage? Isn't it possible anymore to simply say, "I'm loving you whether times or good or bad, happy or sad?" True enough, being able to be independent and make one's self over sounds good. However, it is highly important to weigh the pros and cons of ending a marital relationship.
One reason to reconsider staying together is for the children. In many instances, divorce hurts children. For example, children of divorced parents sometimes feel that it is their fault for their parent's breakup. According to Wallerstein and Kelly:
"Children experience the greatest impact from divorce within two or three years of its occurrence. However, research also shows that children are greatly affected by divorce throughout their youth. At each age, there are certain feelings and reactions that children will experience."
A second reason for married couples to consider staying together includes stability. Divorce creates economic hardships and lack of security for children. Furthermore, divorce leads to more fragile and unstable family households. According to a report by the U.S. Federal Reserve:
"The average family income dropped by 2.3 percent between 2001 and 2004 causing American families to feel less financially secure. In addition, under President Bush's failed economic leadership minority income remains less than 60 percent that of whites. The drop in household income is the first decline since 1989-92, when President George H.W. Bush was in office. In contrast, under President Clinton average family income increased by 17.3 percent over the period between 1998 and 2001."
A third reason to say, "Let's Stay Together," is because of the wedding vows. The wedding vows are one of the most critical components within a marriage, because the vow is a solemn pledge before man and God to do something or to behave in a certain manner. Likewise, it is the dedication of one's marriage and your newly formed family to the Lord Jesus Christ. President Bush, in his own efforts to encourage marriage and promote the well-being of children, proposed a healthy marriage initiative to help couples develop the skills and knowledge to form and sustain healthy marriages.
"Research has shown that, on average, children raised in households headed by married parents fair better than children who grow up in other family structures. Through education and counseling programs, faith-based, community, and government organizations promote healthy marriages and a better quality of life for children."
In conclusion, though the world is forever changing, the love that one has in a marriage can sustain the test of time. This is possible through a variety of ways. Perhaps the simple fact of maintaining those secret vows will assist married couples in preserving the sanctity of marriage. Perhaps pulling out the old school jams such as Minnie Riperton's: "Loving You," or the O'Jay's "Love Train," will give hope to a love that says: "No one else can make me feel the colors that you bring. So stay with me while we grow old?" Now this could be the right dose of love that truly encourages the necessary staying power that is needed for a couple who is truly committed to saying, "Let's Stay Together!"
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Top-level comments on this article: (6 total)I really enjoyed reading this article. I plan to forward it along to my family members and friends.
The article was extremely interesting!
I was really impressed by the points made within this article. Furthermore, I have even more respect for what makes a meaningful marriage work, after reading: "Let's Stay Together!"
A tip from my mother in law is to always revisit your wedding day whenever you get upset or bothered with one another. I must admit, it really works. We have to always stay connected to the vows and the commitment made on that day; not only to each other but to God, which coincides with the 3rd point of this article. Thank you for such a meaningful piece of work!
I really enjoyed this article and will forward it on because couples have strayed away from saying "Let's Stay Together!" They are always searching for the negative things in their mate and instead of working to help improve the areas they are weak in they just take the easy way out. I give this one a A+
Excellent article!
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